WOW! It's been a month since I've touched Ugandan soil! Can you believe it?!
I know I told many of you that I'd be updating my blog constantly, but that was overly-ambitious Amanda talking (haha)! I can't tell you how many times I sat down in front of my laptop staring at the screen unmotivated to write a word. The words I did manage to think up seemed either dry, borderline braggy or uninspiring-- so essentially nothing I felt proud of.
It was actually just a few hours ago that I felt a complete change of heart! Prepare yourselves!
Lord, keep things quiet around me so I can hear you.
My life is a pretty busy and chaotic one. Months ago when I finally sat down, tuned everything out and asked God for a season of rest, it genuinely seemed like a stretch. From the moment I arrived here in Uganda it was chaotic. My dad (who came with me for a few days) and I had to manage without luggage for four days because it got left behind at one of the many airports we passed through. So preparing myself for the possibility of completely starting from scratch was an interesting thing to navigate through. After receiving our luggage, tearfully saying goodbye to my dad in front of a compound filled with spectators, being trained in my new production position, jet lag, getting a cold and trying to learn a new culture, I honestly felt a little defeated.
Processing this new season of my life and having thoughts like you're not smart enough, you're not witty enough, you're not interesting enough, you're not valuable enough played on repeat in my mind. Though it isn't the first (or last time) these thoughts have tainted my mind it was difficult not having a community like the one back at UT to encourage and lift me out of it. I decided to say NO to that way of thinking and prayed for the renewal of my mind.
It's weird how it happens but things started falling into place as soon as I remembered why I'm here: I'm here because I'm a daughter of (who I believe is) a good and trusting Father and I'm resting in that. I'm not talking about the sit on the couch watching Netflix type of rest, but one that refreshes your mind and heart. You might argue that the documentary section of Netflix renews your mind but as an avid documentary-viewer myself, I can't say I've ever felt the kind of personal love and peace I've felt through resting in Christ.
One of the women in the bible study I just joined said something that made all of the static in my mind cease: Lord, keep things quiet around be so I can hear you. I realized, even before hearing that statement, that we all love noise! We unintentionally add additional tasks on our plates, focus on our short-comings, compare ourselves to others and so on! So what I've been doing within the last few days is shedding that weight I've put on myself:
Pretty heavy, huh? You didn't think you'd be reading something raw like this did you? I'm just ready to stop being distracted by all that nonsense and start feeling lighter! I challenge you to call yourself out on some of the noise you've been listening to and weight you've been adding on. Careful though, don't mistake this "calling out" as a negative thing, it's actually quite liberating! I dare you to be still and listen!
Okay Amanda, but like, update me on what you've been up to...
So okay, in case you're wondering about how work is here or curious about what's been going on in my life for the past month let me briefly fill you in! I've been LOVING my internship at 31 Bits! The women and men that make up this incredible company are some of the most inspiring, hardworking and fun people I've ever met! It's been fun/challenging trying to pick up on their language (Luo) but I'm making some progress!! I've made incredible friends, hiked to see some waterfalls, walked beside rhinos, watched the sun set by the Nile River and learned how to drive a Boda (motorbike)! All-in-all, I'm feeling so welcomed and loved by everyone here! Now that I've settled in, I'm ready to invest in relationships and enjoy the ride! Be sure to follow me on Instagram (@amandarmartinez) or Snapchat for quick photo/video updates since I'm not sure when my next burst of blog-inspiration will come haha! xoxo
No comments
Post a Comment