Lessons My Tia Cheli Taught Me

It's been a year since I've lost my Tia Cheli. She was an aunt, best friend and second-mother all rolled up into one person! She was incredible and I miss her everyday. Growing up I remember being in awe with her life. She drove the coolest cars, had the nicest jewelry and makeup and carried herself with so much confidence. As I started college I began to value her thoughts on topics such as faith, politics and life. She always knew what questions to ask and how to go about situations. She was the only one who told me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted to hear, well that's how she was with everyone. I can talk about the cancer she battled for ten years but she never let that define her, so why should I? She was, of course, more than that. So because it's been a year since she's lectured me about something I'm going to celebrate her by sharing a few things she taught me:

"Let's fly to the moon!"

As a kid I remember being at the ranch and asking her where she got her diamond stud earrings. She pointed up and told me she got them from the sky. I gazed up at the infinite surplus of diamonds twinkling back at me and grinned. She quickly grabbed my hands and asked if I wanted to fly to the moon to get some. So that night, and for many other nights after that, she pretended to fly me to the moon. For some reason this is one of the most vivid memories I have of my childhood. That night she inadvertently taught me how to reach for what I wanted while never forgetting to enjoy the ride!

"Don't put up with bullshit."

Well that was a sudden change of heart (haha)! As I grew older, the advice of course changed. She'd always tell me, "don't put up with the bullshit, Amanda," in her most serious tone. Tia Cheli saw through facades like no other, and you want to know something, she had the most incredible people surrounding her because of that. There were [a lot of] times when I'd talk to her about problems I was having and that was her response. Easier said than done, right? Well, the more and more I mature the more and more I realize I don't have to put up with people's bullshit! There, I said it! She taught me to surround myself with people who build me up not tear me down. She wanted the best for the one's she loved and that meant telling them that something didn't smell right and they should do something about it. So now I'm telling YOU, don't put up with bullshit! Become aware of anyone or anything causing you grief and change something about it, don't you dare let it consume you!  

Perseverance

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said,“why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” {Matthew 14:22-33}

This story is probably the most significant one for me, because it was the last thing I read to Tia Cheli before she passed away. In the midst of traveling back and forth from Laredo to Houston for chemo treatments Tia was also working AND taking a college class (for fun). You're thinking, "what?! Is that even possible?" Yes, it sure is. Like I said, she never let cancer define who she was. She had a focus and no storm was going to distract her. I remember it being my first semester at UT and telling her how stressed out I was. Life seemed too hard and quitting seemed all too tempting, but when I finished venting and asked her how her day was she told me that she was waiting for test results, not the college type of test results but the serious health-related type. WOW, boy did that bring me back down to Earth! Sometimes life's trials come at us like a torrential downpour and we feel like we're ready to give up and take the easy way out. If Tia Cheli could do chemotherapy, work, and take an oil and gas course why can't we take our heads out of our butts and persevere? What is persevere? It's not giving up in spite of obstacles, difficulties or discouragement. Never give something up because you think or feel like you can't do it, rely on the God who gave Tia Cheli strength for ten years and rely on the God who is always there even though we might not see Him, trust me he's there. I can tell you that this year has been the hardest year yet because of her loss but the only reason why I'm here full of hope is because I relentlessly prayed for help. Persevere no matter what and ask for help when needed! 

"I'm not afraid of Heaven."

One time, while I was on my way from Austin to Laredo I decided to listen to the audiobook, Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo. This real-life story is about a three year old who had a near-death experience. Over the years, this boy talked about people and events that were impossible for him to know or understand. This little boy spoke about Heaven and Jesus and wow did it give me chills! I had finished the audiobook by the time I arrived home and sped to my grandparent's house to tell my Tia Cheli all about it. I remember, she was sitting on her sofa-chair and I was sitting on her bed. I told her how scared and unsure I was about death prior to hearing this book and I elaborated on all the details that gave me hope and peace. Her response to my long speech about how life-changing this book was was simple, "I'm not afraid of Heaven." She said it in that matter-of-fact confidence of hers. Looking back at it now, that's what I miss about her, her fearlessness. So that's something I hope you and I learn: to set a side the fear of the unknown by replacing it with foundational hope.

So to sum up Tia's lessons: fly to the moon (while having fun), don't put up with bullshit, persevere and don't fear! Right now I'm asking for prayers that my family would constantly be reminded of her fearless spirit and faithful heart! Let's keep Tia Cheli's spirit alive! God bless xoxo